||[May. 9th, 2013|12:48 am]
Feeling a little stuck again. Frustrated. Things with my personal life have sorted themselves out. The last post was mostly in regards to my wife's grandmother passing away and the many trying situations which resulted from her passing. So I can elaborate on that a bit.|
About 4 years ago we bought a house, our house. We knew it was temporary, and that we wouldnt stay there forever. It was a modest starter home. Since I met my wife she had always had dreams of buying her grandparents house. When her grandpa passed away in 2007 (about a year before I met her) her grandma was left alone to deal with the finances which had been handled by her grandpa for years. As time wore on, her financial situation got worse. We had to lend her money sometimes, and towards the end she had a tough time keeping all of her bills straight; over paying some and forgetting some altogether. At one point we considered selling our house and moving in with her (and Nicole's father-who lived in the basement) to help her out financially.
We talked with her a few times about what would happen to the house when she was gone. She told us numerous times that everything in her estate was to be divided up equally between Nicole's dad and her uncle Joe, and that even though she really wanted us to have the house- it wouldnt be fair to Rick (her dad) or Joe. We had concerns about this, since Rick was unemployed and wouldnt be able to maintain the house (which was not paid off- and that she actually owed quite a bit of money on still- mostly as the result of a second mortgage Nicoles grandparents took out on the house to fund her dads failed business venture) and Joe seemed to show a general disregard for family in favor of his own interests. However, her grandma was steadfast in insisting that this was the way her estate should be divided.
I told a coworker a few months before her grandma died that her passing would bring a lot of turmoil and fighting. I was right.
When she came to pass in October, it was very hard on my wife. Her grandma, who was an extraordinary woman, was like a mother to her. Her passing only solidified her desire to hold on to her house.
Actually, at the beginning, it seemed like it was going to work out really well. I talked with both her dad and her uncle, and they agreed to help us get her grandmas house. Her dad, of course, was really onboard, because like I said, he's unemployed, and with us moving into the house it would pretty much guarantee him a place to live. Her uncle, I was surprised about.
As it turned out her grandma was about 2 months behind on her mortgage when she passed. She was already receiving notices and threats of foreclosure from her mortgage company. We also found out that her grandma had taken the house out of the family trust in 2009 to refinance, and that the house had never been put back into the trust. Because of this, we found out that we needed to go through probate in order for her dad and uncle to be able to legally sell the house to us.
As time wore on, and things changed due to what we found out about her finances (being behind on the mortgage and having 2 other loans out against the house) and having to go through probate her uncle started to change his tune about wanting to help us get into the house. He was upset at Nicoles dad, and money that he owed to him, we wanted more money for the house than what it was worth, and also to take money from Rick's share of his moms life insurance.
Things went south from there. Rick and Joe werent talking (actually, they still arent) I became the middle man.
I guess I dont really have to go into much more detail. All this pretty much sets up how shitty of a situation it turned out to be. Oh wait! We still had to sell our house (in a tough market) and her grandmas house was set to be sold in a sheriff's sale in just a few short weeks!
We sold our house in a month (a miracle) and didnt lose any money (double miracle) and we were able to go through probate and close on the house 5 days before the sheriff's sale was set to take place (triple miracle)!
So here we are. We own her grandmas house, and are finally giving it the attention it has needed for years. I know my wife is happy to know that we are going to be able to restore the house to its former glory, like the house she remembers from when she was a child.
My son loves it. We live 4 blocks from his school, and all his friends live nearby. My daughter is too little to care, but has adapted well. My wife is happy because she accomplished something she has wanted all her life. And well- her dad is happy too, because he is living in my basement.
Me, well, I am happy that my family is happy, but there is a part of me that is sad that I wont ever be moving back to the country where my family is at. However, the place is growing on me. This house has served as the central hub of all of Nicole's family activity for years, and we are carrying on that tradition. Her brother and sister and their families come over every Sunday for dinner, just like we did when her grandma was alive, and like they did when both of her grandparents were around. We are going to get the pool up and running again this summer so we can have lots of neighborhood gatherings here, just like her grandparents did.
I guess now is where I get to why I am feeling stuck. This house and this pool cost more money than our old house. I am a little bit worried about finances. There was a glimmer of hope for a bit, because I almost landed a big job- as the lead coordinator for security for all of the St. Paul public schools. I was so hopeful. I my interviews went great. I was 95% sure I had the job, but I didn't get it. Its not only about the money though. This job would have offered me the opportunity to work during the day, instead of the second shift, so I would be able to see my family more.
I didnt get it. I'm still stuck on the second shift, and I am not making the amount of money I feel it will take to maintain our current lifestyle and fund this house and all that goes in to owning it.
I'm bummed. This job would have really made things more bearable.
Of course also, in a cruel twist of fate, I am now pursuing a job as the Director of Security for a University that would make country living feasible, but I just bought a house in the city that I wont be leaving any time soon.
I guess I dont really think I will get the job, the only reason I applied was for the interview experience. However, it is the first time I have ever been invited to interview for such a high caliber job. Is it wrong that I feel like this is destiny? I am almost positive they will offer me the job. Not based on interviews (because I haven;t had one) but based only on the fact that its a job that I probably can't take.