danieljonah

danieljonah @ 2009-10-21T00:18:00

2009-10-21T05:22:12Z

Engagement photos.

www.fourseasonsphotomn.com

click on customer galleries on the left hand side
ID #1133

danieljonah @ 2009-10-02T09:51:00

2009-10-02T15:06:40Z

Sorry it has taken me so long to update. Here are a handful of pictures from some of the remodeling and a glimpse of the finished product. We are still doing a lot of work to the house, but since we have moved in things have slowed down a bit. Nicole got promoted to Center Director of her KinderCare, and I have been working pretty much non stop. Have had about 20 hours of over time on each paycheck for the last six weeks. Life has been crazy.
The pictures here show a bit of our kitchen remodel. I refinished all of the cabinetry. Pictures show the cabinets before and during the refinishing project. The buffet shows the final product. All cabinets were sanded down (three times) and stained a mahogony colour. All hardware was replaced with new brushed nickel hardware. The other pictures show the finished product (minus new carpet that I cant afford yet) for Gage's room and his play room. Enjoy. More to follow at some point, but I really dont have a lot of patience for uploding pictures recently.

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danieljonah @ 2009-08-10T20:28:00

2009-08-11T01:29:42Z

Sorry its been so long since i've posted. Been really busy with the house. We are just about done and when we are I will post tons of pictures, promise

danieljonah @ 2009-07-10T10:29:00

2009-07-10T15:33:44Z

I should probably make a blog called how to make your crappy home pretty much amazing without spending any money.
I have been working alot on the house. Its starting to look really good. I have not even invested that much money into it. Lots of money for paint. A few bucks for new light fixtures. A little bit of sweat tearing down some old paneling...and a lot of time. I will be posting more pictures soon, but as for right now I am going to go work on the house some more...then off to work.

danieljonah @ 2009-06-24T21:02:00

2009-06-25T02:04:41Z

I have friday off work. We close on our house at 10 am, then the work begins. I'm going to try to move all of my stuff this weekend. If I have any more time this weekend I want to begin painting and refinishing the cabinets. Lots of work to do. Pictures will be posted of our progress.

danieljonah @ 2009-06-12T12:23:00

2009-06-12T18:08:06Z

We close on our house in two weeks. Things have been really crazy. Gage just had his 4th birthday party last weekend. We got him a puppy for his birthday and he loves her very much. Her name is Maggie she is an olde english bulldogge. My work schedule has sucked pretty bad the last two weeks and I have had to work M- F from 1530-2330. Meaning I have barely seen Nicole at all this week. It has been nice that I have been able to spend more time with Gage. He finished preschool up for the year and now has the summer off. He'll start in the pre kindergarten room in the fall. In one year we'll be getting him ready to go to kindergarten. Wow. He's getting so big!

The house we are buying is a 4 bedroom 2 bathroom 1960s rambler. It sits on a nice corner lot and has a detached 2 car garage. The backyard is decently sized, but this is the first time I've ever had a house in the suburbs... so it pales in comparison to my idea of a yard which consists of a couple acres or so. The house itself is in good condition, but needs some updating. We purchased it for $178,000 and recently had it appraised at $190,000 so we got a prety good deal.

It will be a easy adjustment for me. I can't wait to live in a house as opposed to the apartments I've been living in for the last 5 years. I've moved at least once every year for those 5 years so it will be nice to settle some place for a little while. I'm looking forward to being able to cook dinner again (which I really haven't done because I spend most of my time at Nicole's grandma's house and she always makes me food...which I really appreciate, but I really do like to cook too!) and plant a garden next summer and take care of the yard. As weird as it sounds I'm actually looking forward to doing work on the house too. When I was growning up we were always working on the farm or on our house, and I feel so lazy sometimes because it seems like I am rarely doing anything productive.

The move will probably be harder on Nicole and Gage. Nicole has told me she doesn't like change, but I'm hoping this will be a good and easy one to make. I don't think that us living together full time will be much of a change. We pretty much live together now and we get along really great. One good change about this will be that Nicole and I will be able to have some more alone time. When we are at Nicole's grandma's there is always some one around... even when Gage is sleeping.

Gage on the other hand will probably have a hard time adjusting to a family life where it is just us three. It will be the first time he's had his own bedroom, and we just bought him his first big boy bed. He was pretty excited about it, but we'll see how excited he is when he actually has to sleep in it by himself!

Anyway here are some pictures. I need to wrap this up because its long, and Nicole keeps trying to read it while I'm writing and it makes me all self conscious about my writing then I lose my train of thought and then we get long rambling run-on sentences like this one.


Exterior Front

Exterior Back.. and back yard
.
Kitchen

Down stairs living room

Upstairs den

One upstairs bedroom. Likely to be Gage's room

And Maggie

danieljonah @ 2009-05-24T13:05:00

2009-05-24T18:11:03Z

I know its been almost two months, but because our house was a short sale there were a bunch of hoops we had to jump through. We finally heard the other day that we officially got the house. We will be closing on it June 26. We are having an inspection done on Tuesday so I will be able to get inside and get some pictures of the place. In a couple of weeks I should be really busy painting and possibly re doing the baseboard and trim.

Work has been good. I've heard some really positive things about my work performance from my boss. I'm still not a full time permanent employee, but hopefully I will be by the end of the year. My boss has even encouraged me to look for manager jobs of other campus public safety operations, telling me that I have nothing to lose and that he thinks I am "talented."

Life has been good. I wish I was making a little bit more money, but more and more it seems like I'm getting closer to that american dream!

Life

2009-03-30T03:25:09Z

Life is a little crazy right now. We are in the midst of planning our wedding.
We are in the process of buying a house. The sellers have accepted our offer, but its a short sale so we are waiting to hear whether or not their bank has approved the offer. The house has been on the market for a year. It was originally listed at 249,000 and we are paying 185,000 for the house, with the sellers paying the closing costs, so basically we are getting this 250,000 house for 178,500! If everything goes accordingly we will close on the house on june 4.

My new job is going well. Its given me lots of opportunities already. Actually, tomorrow I am leaving to go to Moorhead to help out the college up there with security issues that they are facing in lieu of the flooding they are experiencing up there right now. I will basically be working 16 hour days for the time that I am there to give their security personnel a bit of a hard-earned break. I should make some good money, and it will be a great experience. Its going to be hard to be away from Nicole and Gage for that long, but all the overtime will help us with buying the house too.

I just thought I would write about those two big things here really quickly. I just found out that I am going to Moorhead about an hour and a half ago. I have to pack and get in a good nights sleep. I have to be up at five in the morning to get ready and get over to the college by 6 so we can head out to Moorhead by around 7. I'll update when I get back.

Engaged!

2009-01-19T00:24:59Z

I know its been a while since I have updated but i'll try to fill you in real quick on what has happened in the last 4 months or so.

I'm engaged! To the one and only Nicole. I love her so much, and even though we've been dating for less than a year I know in my heart that she is the one for me. I just feel something with her that I have never felt for anyone before. I never thought that I would be so excited to spend the rest of my life with one person. We don't know exactly when the big day will be, but we think sometime around May 2010.

With that, I am also about to become a step daddy to an amazing three and a half year old boy. I love Gage and he love me too, he thinks its so cool that he is going to have two daddies. (He only sees his bio father about once a week. He doesn't pay child support and is pretty unreliable...so this could be interesting in the future). I am excited, but a little nervous because I know so little about being a parent, and being a step parent.

Nicole just got a new job being the director of a family owned childcare center. I really think this will be a good change for her because she will spend less time teaching, and more time managing. (Which is one reason KinderCare was starting to get old)

I still work part-time at KinderCare. My great co-teacher got a new job just after thanksgiving and my new co-teacher drives me absolutely nuts! She supposedly taught in NYC for 15 years and has a masters in education, but yet she still cannot manage a preschool class. So work gets really stressful because I am only there three days a week and I still have to do all the work because my co-teacher can't handle it.

I am also still going to school. I switched my major to criminal justice, finally! It's what I have wanted to do the whole time, I was just in denial about it for a long time because my work experience at the jail was not a positive one. Ever since then I have had a really negative view of the criminal justice field and how I would do in it.

I also decided that I need to get back into the law enforcement/ public safety field, because I loved it so much when I worked security at the U. I recently got hired as a part time public safety officer at a college in downtown Minneapolis. It will be good to get back into the field, and I am excited about the possibility of this part time position switching to a full time position so I can be done at KinderCare. Also, I will be making almost exactly the same amount of money as I was making at the sheriff's office. So hopefully that means that Nicole, Gage, and I can get a house together within the next year!

Alot has happened and so much more is about to happen. I am so excited with where my life is going right now, and I can't wait to see where a few more months will take me!!!

danieljonah @ 2008-09-19T10:14:00

2008-09-19T15:32:13Z

Okay, I know. I'm guilty. I haven't updated forever. But the truth is that I have gotten kind of wrapped up in this thing called life.

So breaking that rule about hooking up with a coworker turned out to be one of the best decisions of my life. She's absolutely amazing and we've been together since that night, and I don't regret it one bit. She understands me in ways that my other girlfriends never did. I'll admit that I was pretty freaked out right away considering she has a kid and all, but really he's just part of the whole package deal and I love him too! And even the fact that she is my supervisor didn't really turn out too bad either. Actually apparently KinderCare is just fine with it as long as we advised her supervisor, which we just did a couple weeks ago. There of course are some vindictive people that work at our center who were out for blood and started spreading rumors, but we cleared it all up. Actually I just thought their attempts to mess things up between us were just really funny. We laughed about it together afterwards.

On the work front, I am still at KinderCare. I am glad that I quit working at the jail even though I miss all of the stories that I used to have to tell from working there. I also miss the paychecks, and the good benefits. But in truth there is alot about it that I don't miss. The people, most of my coworkers and inmates alike. The schedule- working six days in a row just sucked additionally my shift was just at the wrong time in the day 1400-2230 or in other words right in the goddamn middle of everything.

I don't plan on staying at KinderCare for too much long though. The job is easy enough and it changes everyday, but I am sort of uneasy with the fact that I went from not knowing how to change a diaper six months ago to being a diaper changing master. In a couple weeks I am going back to do a paralegal program, because I have realized I am still interested in law, just not the enforcement aspect of it. Plus, I just need to find a good paying job so I can afford a house at some point because my living situation at this point is driving me nuts.

I went from living by the U of M in a cute little studio apartment to living in a two bedroom apartment in the ghetto of st. paul with two lesbians. My biggest motivation for moving was that I was going to be saving about 250 dollars a month on rent, but I have quickly realized that I am now spending most of that extra money on gas to get to st. louis park, on the other side of the metropolitan area. The commute in the morning is enough to drive me nuts. Oh and too make things better there is a train track that is literally 50 yards from my bedroom window and the trains run all night long. I need to get a job so I can buy a house, because I am sick of this renting crap and I have now moved at least once a year for the last five years. In all reality I am so ready to move in with Nicole, but I thought it would be a good idea to rent for another year just in case something came up. So All I have to do is get through another 10 months of this lease and then I should be in the clear. Assuming we have enough money buy then to get a nice little house.

danieljonah @ 2008-05-17T12:04:00

2008-05-17T17:07:31Z

I just broke one of my biggest rules.

"Never get involved with a coworker"

its even more awkward that she's my supervisor.

And I don't feel bad about it.

Oh Damn!

I'm in trouble.

I just want to keep life interesting.

danieljonah @ 2008-05-14T23:42:00

2008-05-15T04:45:24Z

I love how life can throw you curves that you don't expect, whether for the good or the bad. Truly, you never know what to expect in the coming days, and that's what makes it so worth living.

danieljonah @ 2008-05-13T21:58:00

2008-05-14T03:35:00Z

I'm drinking beers and its a tuesday night. Any night is right for beers now, at this age. At work we call Tuesdays "terrible Tuesdays" since they are the worst day of the week; harder, even, than Mondays. See on Mondays all of the kids are still tired from the weekend with mom and dad, but by Tuesday they have regained all that energy, plus they have gotten into the swing of school again. This causes trouble.

I like my new job. I like the fact that I work normal hours and that I am on the same schedule as 90% of the world. I like that I can drive there, and don't have to take the bus (arg, I hate public transportation!!!!!!!) I also like the fact that people appreciate what I do, and that my hard work doesn't go unnoticed. I have only been at my new job a month and I already feel more appreciated than I did at the Sheriff's office. Though I will admit that I feel much more strange saying that I am a preschool teacher than a jailer when people ask me what I do for a living. Ah well, what can you do.

Its weird working in an environment which is mostly female dominated (there is only one other guy that works full time at this school) but I like, it sets me apart. Working with kids is alot different than working with inmates. For the most part I didn't give two shits as to what happened to the inmates, and it was easy to get mad at them and be mean because there was always so much muscle backing up what you said, but at school you learn to be more tactful. You have to use your words and explain your actions. You look for learning experiences in every little thing that you do. You want your kids to learn and to be good students. I guess I never realized how much a part students play in a teachers life. I really care about the kids I teach and take care of. I have dreams about them. I want them to succeed. I want to hear about them being academic all stars and high school athletes 10 years from now.

I wonder if any of my teachers ever felt the same way about me. I want to stick out to them, and not just blend in. Just like I look at all my kids and wonder which ones will be the standouts and which ones will fly under the radar.

I've been thinking alot about school lately. Especially since I went home last weekend for my sister's prom. I went to the grand march where all of the couples are presented. It felt so weird being back in my old high school gymnasium. I actually started having a slight panic attack. It was the first time I had been back in that building completely male, and it felt so strange. I had so many feelings I had a hard time discerning them all. After it I told my mom that I was so happy that I never went to prom and that I was no longer in high school. Which was only half true. I am glad that I am no longer in high school, but I wish I would've been able to go to prom as me. Actually, I wish I could do high school all over again as me. I feel like I am missing a part of my life.

Of course after it was all done and I spent so much time reflecting on what my high school career could have been like had I been able to live my life the way it had always meant to be, I realized that that saying "the grass is always greener on the other side" is so true. I often feel like I wish I could be somewhere other than where I am at, but the more I think about it reliving high school would not make me happy. There was so much about high school that was just miserable, but I keep feeling like reliving high school is the key to all my problems. Like if I relived high school right now, everything would be better. My sister's prom helped me realize that the past is past and that reliving any portion of it is not going to make me happy in the present.

I guess this realization took me by surprise. I have been thinking that going back to my past would make everything better for quite some time now. The hardest thing about realizing this was that now... I don't know what it is that I am looking for to make me happy (where as before I was almost certain that I just needed to reconquer my past).

Any way...

I can't focus.

It's been one year since I have graduated college, and I haven't done much with my life since then.

My brother is buying a house, and all I can think of is that I want to buy a house near my hometown in the near future. I want my own house with a little bit of land. I want to raise calves and farm a little bit of land, and get a decent job somewhere. I need to get out of the city. I know many young people find the city exciting, but I find it oppressive. All of the people here dictate what I can and cannot do. I only feel free when I am in the country, and I can't wait to move back.

I've been reading a memoir of a man who served in the 101st airborne during world war 2 and lately I feel like I was borne in the wrong decade. The 1930s and 1940s seem like they were right up my alley. Something about that time period seems so appealing to me. I don't feel very strong right now, but I wonder if I had been born back then if I would have the strength to serve my country in its time of need.

danieljonah @ 2008-04-04T11:27:00

2008-04-04T16:47:59Z

I'm so happy that its getting nice out, and I am even more happy that in a few days I will be done with my job. Basically I am looking forward to starting my new job. Its been tough the last few days at work because all I can think about is being done.

Actually this last week has ended up sucking even more because on the first day of my last rotation I ended up smashing one of my fingers in a steel door (which I have been told are filled with concrete). Luckily I was able to catch the door before it slammed all the way closed (which has taken off some others fingers in the past). I knew it hurt right away, but I didn't think it was that bad, until the glove that I was wearing started to fill up with blood. I went and stopped the bleeding and bandaged it up and went back to work. I didn't really think anything of it. I thought the cut looked pretty deep, but it was only like 1 cm long so I thought it would be fine. My sergeant came up to me like an hour later and told me that I should go to the hospital. It was a good thing that I did, I guess. I ended up getting three stitches. The good news was they didn't think my finger was broken, and if it was it was minor. I need to wear a splint anyway because the laceration was right on the crease of my first knuckle so I can't bend my finger anyhow. Also, I spent like 4 hours that day doing nothing and getting paid for it. However, now they have me on light duty so I have to sit in control rooms for my last rotation (one of my least favorite parts of the job).

There are some pretty cool people that I am going to miss, but there are way more that just annoy the piss out of me. I guess in every job there are some people that you won't get along with, but maybe law enforcement and corrections is the type of job that attracts the type of people that I find annoying.

For awhile I thought that the job would help me become more aggressive and assertive, basically I thought it would make me more of an asshole. If I wanted to stay at that job thats what I would have to do, but I realized that's not what I want. I want to be me. I am a nice guy. One of the jail nurses said that she was sad to see me go because I counterbalanced the other deputies. Its hard to be the nice guy in that environment and I don't want to take that challenge. Maybe things in the jail would be different if more deputies were like me, but I am not about to be the one to try to force a change. So I am getting outta dodge. I don't want to have to worry about it anymore. Its different when you hear about crime on the news and then you forget it it as soon as you get to work, but to actually go to the place where the person charged with the murder of that little girl is sitting right infront of you... it gets to you. I treat everyone at the jail as a person (alot of the time I don't look up what they are in for, because I don't want to know) I think many other people see them for the crime they are charged with. I let their observable actions make up my perception of them, and as long as I got respect I would give it.

Anyway. Preschool will be killer. I can't wait to finger paint! Hopefully this job will give me more insight into what I want to do in the future, or it will provide me with a more relaxed atmosphere where I will be able to figure out what is going on in my life right now.

danieljonah @ 2008-03-26T10:34:00

2008-03-26T15:36:16Z

I'm quitting my job.

Quarter life crisis...its an on going process

2008-03-25T06:20:15Z

I don't know how I went from being so passionate about law enforcement to not really caring for it in a matter of months, but it has happened. I think being put in an environment which let me more fully understand what law enforcement was all about kinda did it for me.

Ever since starting my job in the jail I have felt completely unmotivated when it comes to work, which is really rare for me since in every other job I have had I have always worked to be the best. Also, at my last security job I was always strict when it came to rules, now I am so lax that I worry that my coworkers will find fault with my management technique.

I know I have bitched about my job in my last two entries, but I am totally trying to find a way to justify quitting after just four months. Especially when I thought that this job was going to be a perfect stepping stone to my dream job.

Tomorrow I actually have a job interview. Before wanting to be a police officer, I really wanted to be a teacher (this is what I went to school for...but haven't quite finished.) Working in the jail has really shown me that I am too nurturing, caring, and sensitive for a career in law enforcement. My interview tomorrow is for being a preschool teacher. The lady that contacted me to set up the interview seemed really eager to have me come in, which is promising, though I am a little worried about what I will do if she does offer me a job.

Taking the job would be a major pay cut, but maybe it would make me happier.
I pretty much babysit at my job now, except its harder because the people I babysit are grown adults, at least kids have an excuse.
I would have to quit my job after only four months, and two months of training. I really feel like I will be letting a lot of people down, not to mention that I feel like more than a few of my coworkers will have something to say if they know that I am leaving.

On the bright side I would be able to get away from the jail's depressing environment. I have noticed one of the things that I miss the most about my old job was the fact that I used to be able to get outside. At the jail I am inside all day, and there aren't any windows. The preschool job would afford me the chance to be outside more (for field trips and other activities). Also, I think that dealing with kids offers so much more promise and hope than dealing with inmates.

I also noticed that being unmotivated at my current job means that I really have no dreams/ plans for my future. My plan initially was to work at the jail for a bit and then go back to school to be a police officer, but not even that dream inspires me. If I took the preschool job I would probably work and go back to school to be a licensed teacher.

The other thing about being a teacher is that it would eventually give me the opportunity to move back to my hometown.

Another thing is that I feel like in the field of law enforcement my trans status will follow me where ever I go. It wasn't really a problem at Hennepin County, but to know that I would have to bring it up for any other law enforcement job is daunting, and I would really just rather not have it come up all the time. In the field of education I really don't think that this will be as much of a concern.

Well as you can see I am really a rather confused little boy at the moment. Hopefully soon I will get it all figured out...or at least closer to figured out.

I guess I will see how the interview goes tomorrow. I should settle down, they have to offer me the job first before I start running all these thoughts through my head.

danieljonah @ 2008-03-16T10:17:00

2008-03-16T15:55:06Z

It's been way too long since I have updated last. Work has been keeping me pretty busy, and when I am not at work I am still trying to figure out my life which feels like a full time job.

I my recent job has really given me an inside perspective to the people in law enforcement and I am genuinely less than impressed. When I started I was much more concerned with how the inmates would react to me rather than how my coworkers would. Stupidly enough this sounds like grade school all over again. I am short, I am small, and I am a pretty friendly guy. I don't spend my time at work trying to look and sound completely macho. This is completely unlike the majority of my male coworkers. Who frequently find it necessary to remind me how small and young looking I am. This is really the first environment where I have felt very "un-manly" or at least the first time that people have taken my friendliness as weakness. I just don't want to spend my entire time at work all wound up, looking to knock inmates for small things that just make the night worse. I would much rather be a little slack and have everything run smoothly for the rest of the night. I realize that even though many of the inmates have done bad things and the ones that haven't just have bad attitudes and they are mostly ungrateful when I go out of my way to help them, but I know that I want to treat everyone the way I would want someone in my family treated if they were in jail.

Last night I was involved in my first real "Use of Force" incident. An inmate (A) wrote me a note which said that another inmate (B) needed to be moved from the Quad because he was having trouble with him. Inmate A didn't really want to talk about what was going on, and wanted it kept on the low down from everyone else. Once everyone was locked in for the night he told me what was going on. Inmate A said that Inmate B kept trying to pick fights with him and if Inmate B wasn't moved out of the quad a fight would occur tomorrow. So I call the classification officer (the person who decides which housing unit works best for each inmate) and the CO tells me to move Inmate A out and to another housing unit. Inmate A started to protest the decision (obviously he wanted the other guy to be moved) and I told him that he could either go to the other housing unit or he could go the Segregation. So Inmate A starts freaking out and goes over to Inmate B's cell and starts yelling at and threatening him. Of course this happens right at shift change so another deputy was arriving at the quad as all this was going on. We told Inmate A to get moving, but he just kept going on and on so we had to forcefully handcuff him, and then after we got him cuffed I had to escort him to his new housing (which ended up being Segregation anyway because there was no way he was going to get along with other people at this point). Inmate A is still yelling at Inmate B, but now he is cuffed. To get him moving I had to use a pain compliance technique. It was the first time I had ever used it outside of training. It actually worked, which was a confidence boost to me. I had to stay after shift for an hour and write my report, which pretty much sucked because my supervisors were already gone. I had to submit my report to a different Sgt. who I don't know very well, but I got this impression that he thought I was an idiot.

I just don't know if I could be in this line of work very long. Its a very stressful work environment where you take your life into your hands every night, and no one realizes how much you do. Part of me just wants to be a regular Joe and not have to worry about all the crap that is going on around me.

At this point in time I am doubtful that I will go back to school to become a licensed peace officer.

On top of my doubts about my career field I have been finding myself more and more wanting to move back to my hometown, so I could live in a more rural setting. However, there is a very slim possibility that this will happen anytime soon. I would have a difficult time finding a job (not only because there aren't any, but because I don't know what I want to do with my life right now). Law enforcement is out of the question down there though, because nothing ever happens and it would likely be the most boring job ever.

I have realized that I really like working with my hands and want to find a job which affords me time outdoors. So as soon as I figure out what that may be, I'll have to figure it out.

My general outlook on life right now is that I am not very happy, but I am looking for ways to change that. Its hard though because I don't know what will make me happy.

danieljonah @ 2008-01-10T20:29:00

2008-01-11T02:44:51Z

Its been awhile so I figured I would take a few minutes before I head off to work to update y'all on how things are going in my life.
I've been at my new job for about a month now and things are moving along pretty well. I am still in training and will be for about another month before I will be working on my own. I had about 2 weeks of boring classroom stuff to get through. Last week was my use of force training week. It went pretty well. The first couple of days I was really disappointed because I thought the sergeant there was some large-type asshole. He picked on me the most out of anybody in my class, and always demonstrated on me. Of course this last part doesn't sound too bad except when you consider what we were doing. Having a fourth degree black belt demonstrate use of force techniques on you ends up to be a pretty painful learning experience. For some reason he never seemed to go easy though. He was a pretty intense guy. By the end of the week however I started realizing he wasn't so bad, and obviously he just wanted us to do well because if we didn't he would end up catching shit in the end for it. I volunteered to be the first in my class to get peppered because I wanted to prove myself to him. I took a shot right in the face and kept my eyes open long enough to handcuff my partner. I knew I was doing good when sarge was like "man, he still has his eyes open. he's a tough little shit." That was a pretty big compliment coming from him. But yeah, pepper spray sucks. I never would have imagined how painful it is. It really is like taking a habenero pepper and sticking it right in your eyes.

The last couple of days I have been doing my field training in the jail. The first night I was up in the intake area doing pat searches. I ended up finding a couple of good things, such as a hypodermic needle in one guys shoe, and a small dagger in the liner of another guys pocket. I also ended up searching a very smelly individual. My FTO said it was the worst smell he had encountered in the jail in seven years. I didn't really think it was that bad, but I knew it must have been when everyone behind me started shouting "oh my god" and running out into the garage away from the smell.

The next night I was doing fingerprinting, which went really well except for the fact that my FTO had to go deal with this crazy pregnant inmate who was smashing her belly into the wall repeatedly. They ended up putting her in a restraint chair but because she was pregnant it didnt work as well as it should and she continued to harm herself. Then once she was out of the chair she proceeded to shit and piss all over the cell and shove various objects inside herself. Ew. Anyway she went to the hospital eventually because she said she was having the baby. We were happy to take her to the hospital, but I guess she wasnt going into labor anyway. So she came back the next day.

Last night I was in intake again. Everything seemed to be going well. Except I guess I missed a crack pipe and a lighter on a guy. He told everyone it was in his pocket, but I know I searched him thoroughly. He also was searched by a veteran Deputy and he didn't find it either. I'm pretty sure he had it shoved up his ass. Wow, the jail is so pleasant. Anyhow. I have to go catch the bus now to get to work. Yay dog shift.

One week down

2007-12-16T00:32:07Z

Well. I safely survived my first week on the job. The week started off really slow. We had to go through county orientation and we were with the HR people for our first 2 days. This mostly sucked, but hey I was getting paid to just sit there so it wasn't so bad. By the third day things started getting more interesting and fun. We toured the jail, watched an inmate coming into intake, and met the sheriff. The facility I am working at has two sections the Public Safety Facility was built in 2001 and the other section of the Jail is within City Hall which was originally built in 1895. Obviously the jail section has been renovated since then; one cell of the old jail is still intact (the old school kind that are just steel bars). The fifth floor of City Hall is rumored to be haunted by the ghost of the only man ever sentenced to death in Hennepin County. He was hung on the gallows there, and took three minutes to die. After his botched execution no others were performed. People ranging from custodians to judges and inmates to deputies have reported hearing footsteps when no one else was around and seeing a man who could not be seen on the security cameras.

Aside from the ghostly lore surrounding my new place of employment...

I am the only new deputy that is male, which was sort of surprising to me and has made it a little difficult because I don't really feel like I have anyone to relate to. All of the women are very uptight and detail oriented. I was hoping there would be another guy there who would be pretty chill however this hasnt been the case so far, though I have met a couple licensed deputies (all new licensed deputies must serve a year in the jail) who seem pretty cool.

On Tuesday I went and got fitted for my uniform and bought all of my equipment.
Here's a nice picture of the things I will carry.

My duty belt Key holder and handcuff key extender, cuff case, glove case, pepper spray holster, and handcuffs.

I was a little disappointed to hear that detention deputies don't wear badges :( so no real badge for me yet.
I have heard lots of good things about the county and that the Sheriff's office tends to do much of its hiring from the inside. So hopefully in a couple of years I can get licensed and then work as a licensed deputy.

It was hard adjusting my sleep schedule. We have to report at 0700. Luckily, I live only about 10 minutes from downtown, but I still have been getting up at 0530. To think that three weeks ago I would have still been working at that time is a little bit crazy. This morning I woke up at 0630 and was freaking out because I thought I was late then I was like "oh yeah...Saturday!" So I slept until 0930 and that was like sleeping in. Two weeks ago I would have laughed at you if you wanted me to get up at 0930 on Saturday.

All in all things are going well. We have another week of classroom stuff to get through. The last week of December we will be at the Law Enforcement Training Facility learning Defensive Tactics, cuffing procedures, how to perform pat searches, and then we will be sprayed with pepper spray. Actually I am really looking forward to that week, even if I will get sprayed with pepper spray. Then the second week of January we get to do intake FTO which will be pretty fun, and I am sure that after that I will have some good stories to tell.

Police officers, Guns, and My New Job

2007-12-07T04:34:48Z

It's been awhile since I have posted. The internet at my place has been out the last couple of days, which has just been another inconvenience that I have had to deal with. The amount of snow we have been getting around here has been unreal, and a big annoyance. It snowed about 5 inches on Saturday and then an additional 5 on Tuesday afternoon. I was coming back to Minneapolis from my parents house during the snow storm and as a result my usual hour and fifteen minute drive turned into 3 hours.

I needed to come back to Minneapolis on Tuesday because I was supposed to be an teaching as an assistant instructor for the First Responder Refresher for the University Police Department's officers. After my hellish drive I got a call from the lead instructor telling me that she wasn't going to be able to make it for the first half of the training because her kid was sick. So she asked if I could teach the first half on my own. I told her I could do it, but when I hung up the phone I had one of those "oh shit, what did I just get myself into?" moments.

The class started at 0730 on Wednesday. I met with one of the Sergeants at the station before the class because the lead instructor had given her some materials for me. When we got over to the training site I learned that I was going to be teaching 10 officers one of which was a Lt. and 4 of whom were Sergeants. It was a tough crowd to say the least. I started off kinda shaky, especially since I wasn't really familiar with the equipment and had some trouble getting all of the AV stuff functioning, but by the end I thought I was doing really well. Just as I starting to feel good about every thing the Lt. comes over to me and says that he just got a call that there had been a bomb threat on campus so he needed to take everyone over there to sweep the building. So everyone in my class rolled out, and I was left at the training site for a while by myself. I wasn't sure how long it was going to take them to get the all clear out on the building so I wasn't even sure if I was going to teach the rest of the class.

I went out for lunch and then the lead instructor showed up. The officers came back about 2 and a half hours later. I was relieved at this point because I thought the lead instructor would take over but she was like "well you have taught the whole class up to this point so you might as well finish it." She said that I did a good job, I didn't feel like it went especially well, but its hard to judge when you are dealing with cops. They have to do this training every year and have to come in on their own time to do it, so its not exactly at the top of their list of things to do.

Anyway, after class I went to the gun range for a basic handgun safety class. It was good fun and gave me a chance to shoot and compare a bunch of different semi-autos. I had a really great time and can't wait to go back again. Actually I think I am going to get a permit to purchase in the next couple months (probably after I get a couple pay checks from my new job) because I think that I want to get a walther p22 just to practice my shooting skills. The p22 is about $350 but .22's are just really fun to shoot because there is so little recoil. Also, I think its a good gun to get familiarized with and I have a few friends who want to learn to shoot, so it would be something I could take to the range and teach my friends how to use. Plus .22 ammo is so cheap that it would be more cost effective to practice technique with. I'm not a real big fan of 9mm but that is what most police departments use so I want to go to the range more and get more experience with them too, though I dont think that I would ever buy my own 9mm. After I get into shooting a little bit more I want to try a couple of the .40's and that would be something I would be more interested in my buying for personal defense.

I haven't started my new job yet, but I did get my official job offer about 2 weeks ago. My first day is on Monday. Its just going to be a bunch of orientation and introduction stuff, but at least after Monday I will have a little bit better idea of what sort of training I will be going through and how long it will last. I will try to update soon after my first day just to let you know how that goes.

On getting a job, religion, and politics

2007-10-31T00:46:30Z

Things are going really well. On Friday I received a strange voicemail on my phone from a Lieutenant at the Hennepin County Sheriff's Office. It was strange because it was sort of rambling and she never said why she was calling except that I should call her back that afternoon. Friday, of course, happened to be the one day in the last month in a half that I wasn't watching my phone religiously for phone calls; so I didn't get the message late Friday night. Immediately I thought it was three things and I will list them in the order of probability that I considered.

1. She was calling to set up an interview for a job I applied for at the juvenile detention center (which I though was kind of weird because...well a Lieutenant doesn't usually call to set up an interview...thats for HR. But it seemed the most likely)

2. My fingerprints were planted at a crime scene and I had to come in for questioning (yeah, okay, probably not but it still seemed more likely than the next possibility)

3. She was calling me about the job I applied for in MAY that I took tests for in JUNE and that I interviewed for (quite horribly I might add) in SEPTEMBER.

I had pretty much not even considered this job as a viable option recently because when I applied they told me that the proposed start date was October 29. My interview was in the middle of September and they told me that they were only hiring 5 people out of my applicant pool, which I think was about 35-40 people, and I had to work the night before a 10 am interview so I went into it with no sleep. I thought it went horribly.

Turns out she was calling about that job, Sheriff's Detention Deputy, which basically is a corrections job within the Hennepin County Jail (Minnesota's busiest by the way). I thought maybe she was calling to verify some information or something, but it was to offer me a job! Woot! Finally. Of course, I accepted it, and I am totally stoked.

Its a conditional job offer, which essentially just means that there are a few conditions I have to meet before being given the formal job offer. These things usually include having a physical, having a psych eval done, and taking a drug test. All of these things will be easy to do. If I meet all of these conditions the proposed start date for the job is December 10.

This job will mean so many good things for me. Such as
1. Health insurance
2. A more consistent schedule (than my current job offers)
3. A more exciting work environment
4. An opportunity to get my foot in the door at the Sheriff's Dept. (My current boss said that a few guys in his skills class used to work this job, and that after they took the P.O.S.T. they were basically guaranteed a job as a Sheriff's Deputy)
5. More money (finally I will be able to dig myself out of the financial strife that school and surgery caused)
6. Less hours (maybe I will get a social life again)

My friend Rachel (a co-worker at Security) had her first day as a CSO (Community Service Officer) with UMPD (University of Minnesota Police) yesterday. She came and visited me at work and told me about all of the cool things she got to do that day (i.e. Uniform shopping, having her own office -with her name on the door even-, getting issued equipment, and sitting in on roll call for the first time). We are both pretty excited that our new jobs afford us REAL badges! I think we are going to have to take pictures of our badges together at some point. Basically we are both pretty excited about starting our law enforcement careers and I think its pretty cool that we can talk to each other about all of the things we are learning and experiencing. Our jobs will be very different as she will be out in the street bringing people to the jail and I will be taking them from there, but that just means we will have lots of different stories to tell.

In other news, I have been trying to rediscover religion lately. Religion has always been a sensitive subject for me. When I was younger I told my mom that I didn't buy into it and that I thought religion was just a big scam to keep the masses in control. But now that I have gotten older (and have left most of that rebellious streak behind) I have experienced some things in life that have challenged me to think otherwise. I mostly had claimed that I was atheist for the last few years because I had so many other things to deal with at the time that I couldn't handle contemplating theological questions as well, it was just easier for me to say that God didn't exist because then I didn't have to think about it anymore. Last year I researched Judaism and I really thought that it made more sense to me than Christianity, but more thinking and consideration made me realize what I liked most about Judaism is that I didn't have the same negative view of devout Jews as I did of devout Christians. I think now especially in this day in age that the term Christian has become somewhat of a negative term, at least it was for me and my friends. Christians are more often than not seen as people who use their beliefs to subjugate and oppress other people, and I don't like that. So basically it has been a bit of a struggle for me to get over my own conceptions of Christians as I try to study the religion more. The last time I was home I actually had to dig out my old Bible from the depths of my room. I guess what I am trying to say is that I want something to believe in and I am feeling a pull to it now, but I know that I am going to get some flack from my friends for it. I am at the point now where I don't care, this is something that has become important to me recently.

Now that I am in the vein of my views shifting. I have found that my political views have shifted significantly in the last couple of months as well. I used to consider myself a liberal democrat, but now see that I am more moderate and that I generally agree with the Libertarian view of things. Basically Libertarians believe that the government should be as small as possible and have very limited impact on its citizens. As soon as I realized my new political leaning I began to realize more an more that so many of the laws that we have now are just ridiculous. For instance, I have a real problem with the Minnesota smoking ban. It should be up to each individual bar owner to decide whether or not they want to allow smoking within its premises, its their property they should be able to do with it what they want. Why does there need to be a seat belt law, yet there is no law about motor cyclists wearing helmets...they are both safety measures that each individual should be able to choose to take on their own, it should not be dictated as law. Libertarians are against constitutional amendments which would define marriage as between a man and a woman because they are aware that just because a majority of people may feel a certain way that doesn't mean that everybody does and therefore there is always the risk that minority groups will oppressed by more popular views. Anyway, just a small political rant there.

I like having all of this time to myself (i.e. with out a girlfriend and without school) because I feel like I can let my brain work out things which are more important to me.

danieljonah @ 2007-10-22T15:15:00

2007-10-22T20:18:04Z

Another job out the window. I guess I was meant to be a jobless bum. This is really not helping me right now.

A solution to my Quarter life Crisis?

2007-10-14T23:37:39Z

The job search is still going strong, with few leads. I was starting to feel really down about this whole endeavor until a few days ago. I was starting to get really disheartened because I feel like no one wants to give me a chance, even though I know I could do a great job at all the positions I am applying for. Last week I had a pretty good interview with HCMC (Hennepin County Medical Center) Security. It was semi-helpful that one of the senior security supervisors who interviewed me came and talked to my EMT class in the spring, so I was immediately put at ease because I was a little familiar with him. They asked a lot of questions which I answered well, mostly because most of the positions I have applied for have all asked similar questions at their interviews.

At the end of the interview I asked them how many people they planned on hiring and when the anticipated start date was. Unfortunately they are only hiring 2 new officers, but they want them to start as soon as possible. This is good because at least if I don't get the position I won't have to wait forever to get a response from them. I knew the interview went good, but I am only worried because I don't have a lot of experience in an environment which forces me to be physical. At the University our security operation is completely non-physical intervention, so I have a lot of security experience which requires me to communicate to deescalate situations, however its the hands on experience that I lack. HCMC is very hands on. Its the major level 1 trauma center for the Twin Cities and is in downtown Minneapolis. So between the ER and Special Care (which handles detox patients and those patients who are there under transportation holds-basically, it means those their against their will) they deal with many very interesting people and incidents.

It would be a great job to learn how to deal with a more diverse group of belligerent people, and also I would get some more hands on experience and learn more D-tac (defensive tactics) stuff, but at the same time the pay isn't great, I would still have to go to school to be a police officer, and then after that I would still have to track down as a police officer.

The day after my interview with HCMC my friend and co-worker Rachel (she's also really interested in law enforcement and graduated from the University in May like I did) called me up and told me that the San Diego Police Department was going to be doing a recruiting session at Winona State University where they would be administering the written entrance test for recruits for the police academy. She wanted to know if I would go down to Winona and take the test with her. Right away I didn't really want to go, but then I realized it would give me an excuse to take a night off of work and additionally it would give me a little more experience with taking police tests, even if I wasn't interested in a job in San Diego.

We got to Winona the day of the test and listened the Recruiting Officer tell us stories about the academy (i.e. Tactical Driving training with professional race car drivers on closed courses with decommissioned black and whites, weapons training, and D-Tac training) which sounded like a lot of fun to me. He also told us a little bit about different divisions of the police department. Also he talked about how San Diego plans on hiring 600 officers within the next 3 years, and that there is a very real possibility that we could start the academy in January. All of this really started getting my attention.

I love Minnesota, I love being so near my friends and family, but at the same time I need to make some sort of move otherwise I am going to turn into some sort of bum still working a crappy security job at the University. I feel like I am in the middle of my quarter life crisis, so I have resolved that if I am giving the opportunity to attend the academy in January that I am going for it. This is going to create some difficulties for me, but the opportunity to join a big well funded police department is a great offer and I think it would be stupid for me to pass it up.

I don't really want to get my hopes up too high because I have felt like other jobs were really promising in the past and then I was just disappointed in the end, but honestly I have never had such a positive job seeking experience with a law enforcement agency. I got a really good feel for them, and I really feel like they want to give me a chance to prove myself.

Basically I should hear from them sometime this week about how I did on the written exam (its pass/ fail, and I would be completely surprised if I did not pass...it was really easy) and then I imagine a date will be set for me to take the physical fitness portion of the exam and possibly for interviews. In the meantime, I am filling out yet another person history statement. I hope to finish this up sometime this week and gather all of the appropriate documents and send them out as soon as possible. I really want to show them that I am serious about this and that I really want to be considered as a recruit.

I don't really know how Rachel feels about this whole thing. I feel like she has more opportunities around here, but it would be awesome if we could go to the academy together. Its funny how she brought this up to me, and now I am the one more seriously considering it.

Also I think there would be some pretty obvious benefits to working in an area which is more progressive, where my being trans won't be an unheard of issue. Additionally they told me that my tattoos wouldn't be a problem, so I wouldn't have to wear long sleeves all of the time!

Job interviews, sucess, failure, and remainders that life isn't fair.

2007-09-29T01:39:38Z

So its been a little while since my last update, and some important things have occurred since then.

I guess I forgot to mention in my last post that September 13 was my 22nd birthday. I am starting to feel old in a way, especially since I still work on campus and most of the people that I deal with are Freshmen and Sophomores who are drinking underage. I guess I mostly feel old in my head, I still look like I am young, which just makes it hard for me to get a drink at the bar around the corner.

Speaking of work, I have been working like crazy about 40-65 hours a week, which is pretty much a necessity because overtime is the only way I can get a decent pay. I have concluded that as much as I like my current job; I need to find a new one because this one will kill me before too long.

For this reason I was pretty stoked to have an interview with the Hennepin County Sheriff's Office for a position as a detention deputy (jailer) on September 17. I was supposed to work from 1700- 0100 the night before, but my supervisor called me and practically begged me to work from 2300-0700 instead. I told him I didn't really want to work the shift because I had an interview the next morning at 1000, and he said..."well, you'd rather not work, but you probably could." Of course, I then took that as a personal challenge and decided that working overnight into an important interview sounded like a perfectly good idea to me. Any indications I had about it being a good idea were certainly erased by about 1015 the next morning as I practically stared blankly into the faces of three interviewers as they asked me multiple questions that I could not find the words to answer. When asked later how the interview went I responded "I'm not sure I don't really remember it. It wasn't a train wreck, but some other slightly less horrendous disaster...more like a school bus rollover." Anyway, right after the interview I came home, went to sleep, and woke up a couple hours of later and resumed my job search. I am supposed to hear back from the HCSO at the beginning of next week, but I already know what the letter will say.

On Tuesday of this week I had an interview with a security firm called Securitas for a position as the CPR/AED and First Aid instructor. It seems like a really sweet gig and is a salaried position with regular hours, paid vacation, and full benefits. The interview went really well and I was really starting to think I was a shoe in for this job, but there was a slight hiccup at the end when I realized that they do all of their instructing through the Red Cross, and I am certified through the American Heart Association, which probably means I will not get the job. I am a little pissed because their ad said nothing about needed to be certified by the Red Cross, but just that one needed to be a certified instructor. I am supposed to hear back from them at the beginning of next week as well, but more and more I am pretty sure that this is going to be a response in the negative as well.

So basically I am still at square one, still working my crappy security job where I get little respect for essentially killing myself week after week. I need to get a job, but nothing really seems appealing to me, all I really want to do is law enforcement. Part of me sort of regrets staying in Minneapolis this year. Financially, I can not afford to go to school here as well as pay for rent. I should have went back home and enrolled in the law enforcement program in Rochester, then at least I would not have had to pay rent.

It pisses me off because I have been looking for a job since March, and my ex-girlfriend applied for one job and got it (and I am not even sure that she graduated from the University). So life is unfair, and a lot of the time we don't realize it until we get older, that our parents were really trying to condition us for this fact since we were too young to know what was happening. So whatever, my quarter life crisis continues, I feel old, disgruntled, and like I am never going to be doing anything which I want to do.

Breaking through to the other side

2007-09-14T21:58:11Z

Transitioning, while liberating and life changing, sometimes also has the tendency to put up new barriers and obstacles we never dreamed we would have to conquer. The further I have gotten in my transition more and more ground has been placed between me and my past. Surely, there are parts of my past that I am more than grateful to leave behind, however I have recently learned that it is a difficult task to be able to pick and choose what you want to keep from your past, and what you want to throw away.

It didn't bother me at first, knowing that most of my acquaintances from high school would no longer recognize me since all through out high school I felt like I was in a battle against all of them, however since transitioning I have wondered how different my high school career would have been had I just been able to be me the whole time. Its likely that I would not have been so bitter or so abrasive, and possible that because of that I would have been on better terms with my classmates.

Its difficult for me to consider now that these people will never get a chance to know the real me unless I make an attempt to let them know me. My past has become more important to me recently. I know not many people my age feel the same devotion to their family or their hometown, but I do. I am a good old country boy, and I am proud of that. In my past all I ever wanted to do was runaway from that place, now I want to go back and live the quiet, simple life. Time has proven to me that I am a simple man, I don't need the distractions of the city to keep me happy. However, now I feel like it would be quite difficult to return to my hometown to live. Maybe I grow more proud of my hometown because I feel like I have been exiled, it seems we always desire the things that are the most difficult to acquire.

Last week I decided that I wanted to make some small attempts at reestablishing myself in my hometown. No doubt, the steps I am taking are small, but so far they have been rewarding.

When I was in high school I had a teacher my sophomore year that greatly influenced me, motivated me to become a better person, and in retrospect he kept me from doing a lot of stupid things by giving me hope for the future. When I graduated high school I wrote him an email letting him know that he really help me through some tough times in high school and thanking him for being an inspiring teacher, whose passion for his job captivated the minds of his students. Apparently this letter found him at a time when he was contemplating giving up teaching, because he felt like he wasn't having an impact on students, and motivated him to continue on teaching. Its strange to think that as a student, I could have influenced one of my greatest teachers and mentors.

After this we continued to stay in contact, I would usually write him about once a semester to update him on what was happening in my life, and occasionally I would drop by his classroom to say hi. Then, at the end of my freshman year of college I stopped writing to him because my struggles with my gender issues pretty much consumed my life. I did not contact him for 2 years. Although once I began my transition I had wanted to, but I had to deal with coming out to everyone else so it was just easier for me to make excuses to not come out to him.

Last week with all of these feelings about my past returning I finally decided to show some spine, and I sent him a letter out of the blue. It took me over a week to write the letter as I tried to find a delicate way of phrasing my decision, and even as I wrote it part of me though seriously of burning all of my drafts and giving up before I sat down at the computer to write it all down. Despite those urges I was able to write everything down, loosely following my notes and drafts that I composed, but mostly letting my ideas and words flow in a very rewarding catharsis. He replied the next day, and I have to say that reading his reply made me really glad that I finally got over myself and just wrote to him. By the sounds of his email we have both had a fairly eventful last few years. In a couple of weeks we are going to go out and a grab a few beers. It will be interesting, but I am very grateful for the opportunity to finally be able to buy a drink for one of the most influential people in my life.